The Trip Home

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May 25, 2021 // By:admin // No Comment

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Sunday, December 15th

I can’t believe I’ve written 31 journals already. With all the stresses and anxieties of life in college, it has been a good release to get all of my stress and anxieties out of my mind and onto paper. I hate to admit it, but mom was right. Writing everything down has really helped me to keep my bearings this year. I find I am much calmer and I am much, much more organized. I now take the time to think things through and I’ve resolved many problems just by writing things down clearly and then reflecting on them.

Starting college last year, Bobby being deployed, and hearing about my parents divorce…it was all too much and I needed to have an outlet. Sigh. I miss the days when I would smoke a bowl…or five, and do absolutely nothing all day, but in the big picture, weed was just making it all worse. I was getting further away from my goals, not closer to them.

Now I feel like I have much more balance in my life. I’m really starting to work through frustrating situations and I have more peace of mind. I hate to admit it, and I won’t admit it to her but it has really helped.

It has also improved my writing. I’m doing much better in my creative writing and journalism classes. Practice makes perfect and writing every day in a journal is just another way to express thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

And mom was right about keeping all of these thoughts off of my laptop. I was already nervous enough when Jeff went through my laptop. If he had found out everything I had written in my journals…I don’t even want to think about what would have happened. It was bad enough at the end and he just would have been worse. I’m SO glad everyone helped me get away from him. That night is still the scariest of my life.

Enough of that, Winter Break starts tomorrow! Amber and I are going to start driving home tomorrow morning. Mom wanted us to fly but there was no way we could scrape together enough money for the airline tickets. Hopefully we will just have enough gas money! I asked Asami to double check her calculations and she believes we should be able to make it with gas to spare. I should really get better at math. I’m ashamed I have to keep asking the Asian girls on my floor to double check all my calculations. It feels like I’m perpetuating a stereotype. Oh well, for now I’ll have to keep asking Asami. At least I can help her with studying for her art history class.

It feels like I will be perpetually broke. I know that won’t be the case but it definitely feels like it. All these student loans with all this crazy debt. I can’t wait to graduate to make some decent money.

At least it is only a 14 hour drive. Once we get on the freeway we can just drive straight through, taking turns when we get tired. I always have fun with Amber so I am really, really looking forward to this trip. We are planning on leaving at 7 am tomorrow. I should be able to see mom by tomorrow evening! Mom is going to let us stay in Bobby’s room, considering she turned mine into a workout room. Gee, thanks mom!


– Clothes

– Whatever snacks we had left

– Present for mom.

Need to get:

– Batteries (AA)

– Bottled Water


Monday, December 16th

10:12 am

Well this trip did NOT start off as I had planned. Amber didn’t tell me anything about bringing her friend Tony. I can’t believe she invited him on our trip. I can’t believe she invited him to my moms house without even asking! I know it is her car and she can ask whoever she wants but Mom is going to flip her shit and I will have to be the one to try and explain it all.

I love her but she is so gullible. That stupid story he told us about having no one to go home to over the holidays was obviously bullshit. He clearly just wants to bang her and she is so desperate and stupid that she will let him. Whatever, they are both losers.

I work up early at 5:00 am, threw my hair in a ponytail and put on a hat, packed the rest of my stuff, and ran out the door. I didn’t even put on makeup because we were just going to be on the road all day. I go out and stand outside in the cold…for NOTHING. We were supposed to leave at 7:00 am, but instead we left almost at 10:00 am

When they did show up, Amber was looking pretty with her makeup perfect and her hair done and her boobs hanging out of her shirt. Then she begged me to sit in the back seat! The two of them are currently in the front seats, just babbling away and talking about all their vapid interests. If I hear him say, “I love that too!” one more time, I may kill him. It is so obvious that he just wants to get into her pants. Really, buddy? You really like the same brand of mascara that she is wearing? Whatever! You probably don’t even know what a girl uses mascara for you blithering nitwit.

Sigh. At least I will get to see my mom tonight. I will just stay focused on that. It will make the ride in this torture free spin chamber a little more bearable.


2:45 pm

At least Tony is good for one thing…cash. We were all getting hungry and I started to get some snacks ready but he insisted on buying us lunch. We found some diner on the side of the road and he let Amber and I order whatever we wanted. After lunch, he insisted on us driving to the gas station and he paid to fill up the tank and drive for a few hours. He may be annoying but at least he is paying his fair share.

We actually had a decent conversation at lunch. I appreciate that he chipped in but it did put us behind another two hours.

It’s also nice that we don’t have to stress about making it to mom’s on gas fumes. I’m really confident we will get to mom’s now. I’ll have to apologize to Asami when we get back. I bugged her for weeks to make all those calculations and then we didn’t even need it.

It has been comical to watch Amber and Tony. I love Amber but she is just so dumb and dingy. I don’t think Tony really knew what he was getting into. I’ve watched her flirt with him over the past few weeks and he obviously loves the attention but I don’t think they’ve had a real conversation. It was always a wave, a brief “Hello”, or she would shake her ass to get his attention. I’m sure he agreed to come on this trip just to get his hands on her 36 DD’s, but he didn’t take into consideration that he would confined space with her stupidity for fourteen straight hours.

She is definitely a dingy brunette. I was proud of Tony for letting her win the argument that kilometers are longer than a miles because “her speedometer has higher numbers for kilometers than miles”. I did notice him cringe when she became incensed that the waitress would offer her bacon bits for her salad because she didn’t tolerate the slaughter of baby pigs and instead demanded the waitress bring her regular sized bacon and she would break that up herself. But I definitely saw his sex drive switch to OFF when she told him that Nelson Mandela was a great actor. He just stared at her like he was expecting her to let out a punch line, but then he realized she was being serious. He looked at me and I just smiled as wide as I could. He slumped down in his seat, realizing he had made a terrible mistake.

I hope her vagina is magical, Tony. It is the only thing that is going to make the torture tolerable.

While watching these two has been comical, I’m still really annoyed how far behind we are now. I had planned to eat lunch on the road but nooooo. These two just had to get out of the car for a while. It will be close to midnight by the time we get to moms.

Fuck, I can’t even concentrate anymore, she is blabbing about all the shades of lipstick she brought and how she intends to use them. She is sitting right in front of me and I really want to use my shoelaces to reach around and strangle her.


9:35 pm

I’m glad I remembered the batteries. I’m still able to write with the flashlight Bobby gave me.

Bored, bored, bored, bored, boring, bored, bored. It has been a really quiet ride since Tony exploded. Amber was going on and on about absolutely nothing and everything that is nothing and he finally had enough. He turned to her and loudly yelled, “SHUT UP!” Then, he started yelling about how stupid she is. He told her every time she opens her mouth his penis shrivels up a little more. (Ouch)

Needless to say, she didn’t like that and they started bickering, which quickly turned into an intense argument. Suddenly, Tony pulled the car off of the freeway, whipped into a closed gas station, got out of the car and walked around for a while mumbling to himself. He was so mad at her he just needed some space.

I don’t blame him.

Amber sat there for a minute and then she got out of the car, ran around to the drivers side, and got back in. It was my turn to yell at her when she attempted to drive away. There was no way I was going to let her leave this poor guy in the middle of nowhere at some abandoned gas station in the middle of the night. That is how horror movies begin. I would have jumped out of the car myself but this stupid little car has no rear doors. I have to push the front seat all the way forward to climb out. Even when I push the seat forward it is hard to reach the door handle.

I managed to convince Amber to turn the car around and go get Tony. After she pulled over I struggled to climb out of the back seat and I explained to Tony that he really needed to come with us. It would only be a few more hours in the car and then he could hang out with me once we arrived at my moms house. Once I explained I had some cute friends that I might be able to hook him up with since he obviously wasn’t hooking up with Amber, he reluctantly agreed to get back into the car. I got back into my spot in the backseat behind the bonus veren siteler passenger seat and Tony sat in the passenger seat.

I feel bad for the guy. He isn’t as much of a dolt as I first thought. The guy thought he was going to have a fun weekend and it is just ending up to be a nightmare and we aren’t even there yet. We even have a few things in common.

When Amber drove back onto the freeway, I slid my hand down the right side of his seat, between the seat and the door and just put my hand on him. He reached around with his left hand and touched my fingers softly. He then exhaled and put his head back. I just wanted him to know I totally understand.

Only a few more hours…


11:41 pm


I’m trying my best to stay calm. I’m fucking furious!

So we got back onto the freeway after leaving that gas station and no one was talking to each other. The silence caused Tony and I to false asleep and the stupid idiot bitch got lost! We’re on some stupid little road in the mountains in the snow! THERE ARE NO MOUNTAINS NEAR MY MOMS HOUSE! Amber has been to my moms three times now, and she KNOWS there are no mountains. Why did she keep driving up the mountain without saying anything to me? I have no idea where we are or how far off track we are. But that isn’t the worst of it!

I woke up because the car was going back and forth on a windy road. I opened my eyes and looked out the window and everything was white. I sat up and looked around and screamed at Amber to stop the car. Not only was she driving in the wrong direction, she was driving up a windy, snow covered road with no chains on her tires! The car was sliding all over the place and we nearly hit several trees!

My screams startled Tony and he woke up as well. We were both yelling at Amber to stop instead just just kept driving while she started to cry! That is when I thought for sure that we were going to die. Not only was she sliding on snow and ice, she was crying as well and screaming at the both of us. But that still isn’t the worst of it!

I managed to get everyone in the car to calm down and I calmly explained to Amber that she was going the wrong way and she would need to turn around. So what does she do?


During the turn she drove over a large mound of snow and we heard a huge crunch and now the car won’t move at all. It won’t go forward or backward. Stupid idiot!

I want to kill her!

Tony thinks we must be on a rock or log or something. There is too much snow under the car to see what we are on. It is so dark and cold that we can’t really work outside for long. None of us are prepared for snow. We have light jackets but no one brought gloves or anything…because there is NO SNOW AT MY MOMS HOUSE.

We were hoping another car would drive by so that they could help, but it has been over an hour and we haven’t seen anyone. We can’t get a signal on our phones because we are in the middle of a fucking forest, and fifteen minutes ago it started snowing again. Tony put out some hazard signs that we found in the trunk. Hopefully no one will crash into us. We are sitting sideways in the road, like sitting ducks.

Unless someone drives up or down this road, it looks like we are going to be here for the night. We are going to sleep in shifts just in case someone drives by. Our plan is to wait until morning and we will see if we can get off the rock or whatever and then continue on…if the car still runs. Amber isn’t allowed to drive the rest of the trip.

I volunteered to stay up for the first shift. I’m way, way too angry to sleep. Amber is pretending to be asleep. Tony worked really hard to get us off the rock and he is actually asleep.

I hope you don’t worry too much, mom. I’ll be home soon.


Tuesday, December 17th

8:37 am

We woke up about 7:00 am. I guess you could call it waking up. We all didn’t sleep much. It was so cold last night that we couldn’t get comfortable. We had to keep starting the car and running the heater.

Then, in the middle of the night, the car ran out of gas. We had just filled up the tank and only drove an hour or two so we can only assume the gas tank was ruptured as well in the accident. Tony opened the car door and he could really smell a lot of gas so he thinks there is definitely a leak. So not only are we sitting ducks in the middle of the road, one spark can cause us to explode. Wonderful.

I’ve been tempted to set Amber’s car on fire just to warm up.

When we woke up we couldn’t see out of the windows. We rolled down a window and realized it was still dark out and had snowed several inches last night and the car was covered in snow and ice.

We waited until there was enough light out and Tony and I dug out the snow out from under the car using some bark that we pulled off of a tree. deneme bonusu veren siteler The bark made a decent scoop and we managed to pull enough snow out to see Amber had run over a rock like we suspected. Unfortunately, it broke a metal thingy for the steering that is under the car and Tony could see gas dripping as well. We’re going to have to wait for a car to drive by and then get a tow truck.

Tony is outside, looking at the car. Amber had to pee. I hope there are bears in this forest that are attracted to the smell of urine.


2:45 pm

Not. One. Car.

This is maddening.

Lots of angry silence.

Still snowing.

Getting colder.


4:15 pm

Amber just freaked out!

She started crying and screaming and yelling at both of us, She then put her running shoes on, grabbed a bunch of the snacks, shoved them in her purse, got out of the car, and started walking down the mountain! Tony and I stared at each other and then we started to follow her, trying to convince her to stay. She said she remembered there was a little house or store at the bottom of the mountain and she is going to walk there and get some help. She said she could make it in an hour or two. Tony and I are annoyed she didn’t tell us that earlier…if that was even the truth.

We begged her to come back. She kept walking and insisted that we stay with the car because it is her parents car and they will be furious if anything happens to it. We didn’t like that idea and tried to convince her to stay. We may be mad at her but we don’t want anything bad to happen! The snow was up to her knees and she was in leggings and a light jacket. We explained we would all walk down the mountain together in the morning. Amber wouldn’t reply, she just kept walking through the snow. We screamed for her to come back until we lost our voices.

Tony and I stood in the middle of the road, trying to decide what to do.

We came back to the car.


8:30 pm

Still no sign of help. We’re worried about Amber. She should have listened to us and stayed! She wasn’t dressed for trudging through the snow!

I wish I would have checked the weather before we left, although I had NO IDEA we would be spending the night in the mountains. It gets cold at Moms but it never snows. We think it snowed at least a foot in the last 24 hours, maybe even more. We keep watching the road, thinking a snow plow or police car will eventually drive by but there hasn’t been any.

Tony moved the hazard signs and put them on the snow so people would be able to see us. We then decided that we should get ready for another night in the cold car.

Tony then bundled me up in the front seat to try and keep me warm. I’ve been shivering for hours and I haven’t been able to feel my feet since we followed Amber.

While I tried to warm up, Tony climbed into the back seat and started to rearrange everything so we could sleep in the back seat. I feel bad for him. He is a big guy and that back seat is small. He had to work hard to even move around.

He filled in the spaces where we would put our feet with our luggage. He then took all of our clothes and whatever he couldn’t zip together, he put underneath us. Anything he could zip together he zipped and tied together to make a makeshift blanket. He covered the windows with a few of his shirts to keep the chill out. It actually helped and it isn’t as frigid in here as before. It won’t exactly be a four star hotel, but it will allow us to stay close together and conserve our body heat.

He then moved me to the back seat. He took off my shoes and rubbed my feet for almost an hour to keep the blood flowing to them. He even sat on them and put them under his shirt to warm them up. He is being so, so sweet. He kept talking about his trip to Miami last year and he kept asking about my favorite hot spots that I’ve been to. I was so thankful to feel my toes again. He put three pairs of socks on my feet. My shoes are wet so I can’t put those back on.

I made a dinner of chips and salsa because that was the last thing we had to eat. At least our mouths will feel hot.

Going to bed now so we can be up early. We’re thinking of trying to walk down the mountain, but it is getting windy and it is starting to snow again. Hopefully the weather will cooperate. If it is sunny we may try to walk.


11:53 pm

~ Amid the chaos, a beautiful thing happens ~

Tony and I were cuddled together in the back seat. He had his back against the back seats and I was laying with my back to him, his strong arms wrapped around me, cuddling me, keeping me safe, doing his best to keep me warm. We were talking and giggling about our experiences as children and funny things that have happened in our lives. My nose really started to get cold so I turned over and nuzzled into his neck. Instantly I felt so much warmer. It gave me an idea.

“Tony, wouldn’t we stay even warmer if our skin touched?”

“What do mean?”

“My nose is so warm touching your neck. Wouldn’t we stay warmer if the rest of our skin touched?”

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